readitandshutup

I am an atheist…me and religion are just not a match.
“Good for you but why are you writing a post about it?”- you might ask.

Because I am sick and tired of “not being allowed” to say that.
Why is being an atheist a bad thing?

Have I ever killed in the name of Nothing since I have no God to kill for?
Have I ever discriminated a group of people because my Nothing disapproves of their existence?
Have I ever made you feel bad for deciding on your own what do you want to do with your life and/or body?

NO, I HAVE NOT!

Have I ever bored you on how you have to believe in my nothing or have I tried to put you down for believing in your something?

NO!

Want to know why?
Because I respect your beliefs regardless of the fact that I find them totally and utterly absurd. I keep my opinions on your religion to myself because I don’t consider it important to lecture you on how stupid it makes you look believing in a man in the sky who controls your life and is for the same reason the one to be blamed for all of your fails and life problems.

If I am polite enough to leave you and your beliefs alone why can’t you leave me and my lack of them alone?

Yes, I used the “F” word because that is what you are, FAT.
Just like rice chocolate is called chocolate because of the amount of chocolate in it you can, and will be called, fat because of the amount of that type of tissue in your body.

Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have a negative effect on health.

And I wouldn’t give a fuck if someone is overweight or no because it is their body and they can do with it as they please if it didn’t affect me personally.
You might ask “How does someones weight problem affect you?”
Well, we all pay taxes, and part of that money goes for public health care and if you are overweight you will develop certain health problems connected to your state and will need medical help for them.
And that is money out of my pocket…of all of our pockets.
Excuse me for not being thrilled about giving money so you can stuff your face with shit food while I’m over here preparing to eat at my grilled fatless chicken breast trying to convince myself it is super delicious.

Look at that, I do eat something I don’t really enjoy because it is good for me. And I do go to my training even when I don’t feel like it. I also say no to chocolate cake even when my inner fat kid is screaming GIVE IT TO ME!

Maintaining a healthy diet is NOT EASY. Exercising regularly is NOT EASY. Saying no to things you want to say yes (yes,yes) to is NOT EASY. Having to fit cooking multiple times a day and exercising multiple times a week in your schedule is NOT EASY.
But guess what it is not supposed to be easy. It is supposed to be HARD.
There is nothing in life worth doing that is easy. You have to work hard to accomplish anything relevant.

WHY DON’T YOU WORK HARD ON A BETTER AND HEALTHIER “YOU”???

Why do you choose excuses over change? Why do you try to find every fucking possible reason not to instead of just doing it?

You have bad genetics, slow metabolism, polycystic ovaries, thyroid gland problems, big bones (this one is truly a joke), unhealthy relationship with food, you are stressed, overworked, sleep deprived…etc.
Guess what, you are not the only one. There are others with same problems and obstacles still making it work.
The thing is when you are aware of the problem you can find a way around it.
If your metabolism is slow work on that problem. Eat more fiber, exercise more, eat less starchy foods…
If you have more serious health problems linked to your weight gain consult your doctors on steps necessary for you to successfully lose weight.

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF and make something or pay your own fucking medical bills YOU FAT FUCK!

I always had a plan.

Finish high school.
Go to college.
Get good grades and a scholarship.
Finish college.
Be the valedictorian.
Get a job.
Be great at what you do.

And everything went according to plan.
Before I got to the “Get a job.” part of the plan that is.
Here, for the first time in my life, I have failed.
I followed all the usual steps: make a portfolio, apply, get into the selected few, rock the interview and get the job.
Somehow, the last part just didn’t work.

At first this made me question myself. My skills, my knowledge and my choice of a career.
To be honest, it even made me a bit depressed.
I felt like the past five years of my life were all wrong choices and now they were all crumbling down on me.

But the truth is we all fail at one point or another.

It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all.
J.K. Rowling

Don’t be discouraged when you don’t succeed at first try.
Take it as a lesson, as an opportunity to make yourself better.
Think about why you failed. Find your flaws and mend them,
Make yourself failproof.
Don’t question yourself.
You are good.
But you can always be better.
Take every failure as an opportunity to show the world you can still grow.
When someone tells you that you are not good enough, prove them wrong.
Rise above your imperfections and be the best YOU that you can be.

One more thing.
Life is long, however short it may seem sometimes.
You have time to get it all.
Once in a while, take a minute to breath.
Appreciate all you have in your life.
Take a day off from trying and just live it up.
Climb a mountain, organize a barbeque with your loved ones, or just spend a day in bed watching movies.
Do whatever makes you happy.
Life is not just about getting there, it’s also about enjoying the ride 🙂

One of the paradoxes of this modern age of ours is that even with all the new means of communication that technology offers today, we have forgotten how to communicate.
You will say “But I communicate all the time.”
Yes, you do. I will grant you that.
You tweet, you like, you heart, you poke, you chat, you send emoticons, stickers, voice messages, LOLS, ROFLS…and what not.
But you don’t actually communicate. Not in the full meaning of the word.

It almost seems that we forgot how to open our mouths and speak.
Remember that thing when you put words one after the other in a verbal form and the other person does the same, and you spend hours doing so?
Of course you don’t!
Even if you do, you certainly don’t show it.

I am sorry but (y) doesn’t mean shit to me, 1 and 2 are < (less then) 3 , and I would prefer that :* in person.
And the worst part is, you are all aware of the problems you cause (to yourselves and others) by not verbalising your thoughts, and you still refuse to do so.
You still prefer the good all “I wonder what did he/she mean by that?”, “I wish I told him what I meant.” and all the corresponding Why?s
I have one Why for you.
Why the fuck don’t you just talk to eachother ???

“excuse verb

• seek to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offence); try to justify.
• release (someone) from a duty or requirement.”

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People are very good at finding excuses, I should know, I consider myself an expert in the field.
But it is very important to distinguish between excuses and real boundaries of your capabilities.
It is even more important, to act on that realization, and stop yourself from making excuses for
your actions, or even worse, for the lack of.

A month ago most of us made some New Year resolutions, which were designed to make us
better people in the year to come.
Now, a month after, we find ourselves finding excuses not to realize those resolutions.
Why?
Because it is easier to say that you are stressed than to stop smoking.
It is easier to say that you have bad genetics/heavy bones/… than to go on a diet.
It is easier to say it is not a good time right now,then  to actually make an effort to find a good job.
It is easier to say you are busy then to finally study for those two exams at Uni you keep dragging
for years.

But ask yourself is it truly easier?
Wouldn’t you breathe better if you stopped smoking?
Wouldn’t you move better with fee pounds less?
Wouldn’t you feel happier with a better job?

Yes you would.
But you prefer to make excuses and wallow in self-pity, saying to yourself you can’t.
News flash, you can.
You just don’t want to.
So stop feeling bad for yourself. Either do something about it or shut the fuck up.
No more excuses.
Face your own guilt and live with it.
Or even better, move your lazy ass and make a change.
YOU CAN DO IT.
The question is: “Will you?”

Tinder is a matchmaking mobile app Using GPS technology, users can set a specific radius, and they will have the option to match with anyone that is within that distance.

Recently Tinder has been attacked as being shallow, superficial and vain because it focuses mostly on the appearance.
I somehow can’t actually see in what way is it different than everyday life in that way.
When using Tinder you swipe people left (if you don’t like them) or right (if you like them).
The other person has the opportunity to do the same,
and if you both like each other you will be able to communicate.

So basically if you are ugly, tough luck, find another app to play with…
(or die…no one cares.)
How insensitive, right?
Tinder is the worst.

No, it is not, you are.
The same way guns don’t kill people, people kill people; Tinder doesn’t judge people based solely on their appearance, YOU DO.
And you were doing it long before the Tinder came along.
Think about it.
In Tinder you swipe right or left. In real life you keep the eye contact or look away.
In Tinder you talk only if you like the way the person looks like. In real life you do the same.
Let’s not lie to ourselves.
I, for one, have never walked up to I guy I don’t find attractive and said “Hy!”.
Why would I? Because of his personality?
I don’t even know his name, let alone does he have a sense of humor or not.

People are shallow. That is a fact.
Tinder didn’t make that happen.
It is just honest enough to be blunt about it.
You should be too.
Because lying about it won’t change it.
Maybe it will make you feel better about yourself,
maybe it will even make you interact with the less fortunate ones,
but you will still be the same old superficial prick you were before.

and let me tell you a secret…pssst…everyone else is too….

We are not just mammals. We are more than the animal inside us.
We don’t have sex just to reproduce. Most of the time we do everything in our power not to (reproduce).

Human sexual activity has sociological, cognitive, emotional, behavioral and biological aspects; this includes personal bonding, shared emotions during sexual activity, and physiological processes such as the reproductive system, the sex drive and sexual intercourse and sexual behavior in all its forms.

Case in point, our sexual activity is more than just a physical act.
It goes beyond than just “doing it”.
It is consequential in more ways than one. It includes ration and emotion.
It is more than just an act, no matter how much we tried to simplify it to fit into that label.

I don’t know for the rest of you, but I don’t see the point of having sex just to satisfy your basic need for sexual pleasure.
I am not saying that the need itself should be ignored, on the contrary.
It is a completely healthy and normal need (almost) all humans have. That is the reason why we have all these “alternative” ways of satisfying it, which don’t include another human being; consequentially removing the humanity out of the equation and leaving it in it’s primal form.

But why do we also try to leave out the humanity even when a human is involved?
Why do we try to make it cool not to need emotion?
Why do we think that the lack of the emotional part of the equation somehow makes it the evolutional form of the act itself?
Isn’t it just the opposite of that? Doesn’t the emotional part make it human?
Do we think that not including emotion makes it super human? And isn’t it true that we could also argue that it makes it less than human?
And if it does, doesn’t that make us less than animals, since we don’t even do it to reproduce?
On the contrary, we do it to destroy.
To destroy the human side of our behaviour.
Why?
Because somewhere along the way “human” became a synonym for “weak”.

But still I am not ashamed to admit. I am human. Are you?

How do we start hating ourselves so much? Why?
What happens to us? When does it happen?

I remember when I was about 5 years old. Before going to school. Before watching too much TV. Before reading teen magazines. I couldn’t see anything wrong with my body.
Not having superpowers was kind of a bummer, but I was still hoping I would discover I had one in due time.
When I hit puberty I couldn’t see anything that was good with my body anymore.
I wanted to change everything.
I wanted bigger boobs, smaller nose, shorter hair, longer legs, thinner figure and a fatter ass. I wanted fake eye lashes, fake nails, color lenses, colored hair, push up bra, high heels and low cut skinny jeans.
I wanted everything but to be who I was at the moment.

How did it come to that?
How did a 13 year old girl learn to hate herself so much? How did a 13 year old learn so much about plastic surgery and other ways of body alternation?
What is so disturbingly deranged in our society that we let young people feel that way about themselves, and keep on telling ourselves it is just the puberty speaking.
Because it’s not.
It’s the media speaking. It is the force fed, unreachable ideal of beauty speaking.
It’s marketing, it’s fashion, it’s movies, it’s our culture speaking.
Teenagers in some other cultures, in societies we (ironically) call less developed don’t see their bodies in this way. They don’t develop such strong feeling of disgust towards themselves. They are not that well informed about the different ways of changing their appearances.
Why our teenagers are?

How cruel has our society become when we are willing to sacrifice young peoples self esteem just to make profit.
What is so deeply wrong with us that we actually want to encourage young people to hate their diversity and to strive to achieve “perfection”.
“Perfection” which is nothing more than artificially made ideal of something that cannot universally be defined.
Everyone has it’s own definition of perfection, and perfection itself is not real. It is just a projection of someone preferences.
My perfection is being happy with who you are.
Being confidante, having your own “me”, holding your head high.
My perfection is knowing who you are and what you are worth.

Perfection is overrated.
Perfection is underrated.
Everyone is perfect in his/her own way,
and yet nobody is perfect at all.

P.s. I am not trying to hold some type of a moral high ground. I am equally fucked up as everyone. Maybe even more. Most of the time I hate the shit out of myself, but sometimes I am lucky enough to see that I am a perfect me 🙂

Let me start by telling you a story.

One random night in a December few years back I was waken up in the middle of the night by my friend asking me to come to a bar near my house to get my ex (who already had that status) to go home, because the drunken idiot refused to do so.
Unfortunately I was, and still am, the only person he listens to.
I guess I should take that as a compliment, and as a kind of a super power, to be able to move a object ( lets call him that for the moment ), 1.98 m tall and around 100 kg heavy, without even using force.
At that moment, I saw it as more of a hustle then anything else.
So I walked, or better to say march, into the bar in my pajamas, conveniently hidden underneath my jacket, mad as pms on pms.
The previously mentioned idiot was sitting on a corner table, with his head on it, staring at the almost empty glass in front of him. I sat opposite of him ready to set all hell loose for making me do this (again), but before I managed to say anything he liffted his head, looked at me with a combination of puppy eyes and shitfaced look and said: ” I keep on trying to drown them, but the little cunts can swim.”
I thought to myself “Damn, he is wasted.”, but being curious as I am, still asked: “Who?”
“The problems Lana, the problems.”, he replied, with “How don´t you know what I meant” look on his face.

When you think about it problems truly are resistant little fucks. You can try to drown the in the poison of your choice, you can try to ignore them, you can even temporarily forget about them. But nothing really helps.
I found that problems can be, in this context, compared to pain.
If you try to mask it with painkillers, it will help for a short while but they will soon re-appear, maybe stronger then ever.
On the other hand if you ignore the pain, it doesn´t make it any less present, and it could make the issue a lot worse.
And finally, if you forget about if for a while, it will make sure to remind you of it´s existance…sometimes in the most cruel way imaginable.

Logical thing to ask ourselves would be: “Why do we even do it then?”
Probably because at least for a short period of time it makes us feel better…
…and because hope is a bitch which dies last.

Aristotle said:

Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human.

Most of us are only human, and in need of company. For God sake, women even use the bathroom together.

But pure company is not always enough. Sometimes we need to be caressed, cuddled, hugged, kissed and loved. Sometimes we need to feel that we belong to somebody, that we will never be alone.
That feeling led us to form a special kind of human interaction which we now call relationships, or “it’s complicated”.
Unfortunately this kind of relations often ends, and then something happens to the humans who were involved in it.
They start to feel the void in them.
They can feel there is something missing and they can’t define what.
So they try to feel the void with other people, other feelings, other relationships.
The truth is that, same as trying to open a door with other peoples keys, it will never work. You might end up breaking either the lock or the key…or both.

The reason why you fill the void is that you have lost someone important from your life.
Maybe that person was also your best friend. Maybe you lost you first true love. Maybe you really thought he/she is the one.
You have a right to be sad.
To be angry.
To be whatever you need to be.
Because, to be honest, you will never have that person in the same way again. You will never feel as you felt for that person, at least not exactly the same.
And that is fucked up. It sucks that we can give ourselves completely to a person and then it can be over. It sucks that it has to hurt so much. It really sucks that you will never be that good of friends, because every time someone is left bit more hurt.
I personally hate that it affects us that much.
But, coming back to the beginning of the post, we are social beings, and losing people from our life affects us. It will never change. Even our reactions might not change. We may never stop making bad decisions after brake up. And that is ok.
Everyone has a way of dealing with pain. There is no universal way. There might be a healthy way, but fuck that shit. Do what you think it’s best and deal with it within your terms. Whatever you do, I hope it helps.